You know what we as people like to do? Talk about shit. Most of the time it doesn’t really matter what we’re talking about we just like to hear the sound of our own voices, and we like that because it makes us feel important. “Look at these people, they’re all listening to me. I’m important.” I’m even going to admit a sense of importance knowing that you’re reading this blog right now. Hey! Someone is listening to me, look at me go.
Something happens to us when we start talking so much: we start forming opinions. The Google defines opinion as: “a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.”
I feel like this is a pretty good definition – but then again, thats just my opinion.
Here’s why your opinion doesn’t matter.
We are all different right? We are all wandering through life seeing things in a perspective that was built off societal norms, family background and upbringing, and experiences that we have had. Based on geographic location, religious background, education, and other basic demographics we start to form our personalities, our view points, our “truths” if you will. In my neck of the woods it is true that people call a carbonated beverage “pop” in other parts of the country it is true that people call a carbonated beverage “soda” or even weirder to me “Coke” even when its not a Coca Cola. Southerners really need to handle their shit.
These are variable truths depending on location. Here’s another example of two truths based off opinion.
You’re hungry so you make a sandwich. You sit down on a chair and place your plate on a piece of furniture that is higher than the chair so you can easily reach your plate. That piece of furniture is now your table.
I’m pretty curious to what is in that sandwich so I decide to come check it out. Instead of pulling up a chair I decide to sit on the same piece of furniture that your plate is sitting on. That piece of furniture is now my chair.
Who’s right? You can argue with me until I slap you across the face with your sandwich that it is a table, but the fact is, my butt’s on it. I’m sitting here, its my chair.
This is why opinions don’t matter. What you consider a table, I consider a chair. What one considers crazy, another might embrace as daily life. Who are we to take it upon ourselves to change someone else’s reality.
When we have an opinion about someone or something what we are saying is. No, your perspective is wrong – try my perspective. When Jane judges the actions of Jack, Jane is saying “You know, Jack. You are terrible at being Jack. Why don’t you try being Jane.”
Jack can never be Jane. Only Jane can be Jane. Jane is the only one that has lived her whole life as Jane and Jack can never experience reality the way Jane does. Jane, stop being a bitch and trying to make everyone you.
So if our opinions don’t matter what can we do? We can support. We can say “that’s an interesting take on things, Jack.” But what do we do if someone, in our opinion, is being horrible? We can support. Instead of saying, “in my reality Jack is a huge douche canoe.” Come from a place of understanding. “Jack just got laid off and his family is really suffering right now. I know I would be afraid if I were in that position.” Holy crap we just saved Jack and Jane from a huge fight.
Understand that not one single person in this world comes from the same perspective as you do. We have not for one second walked in your shoes and experienced the world through your eyes. And that goes the same, unless you have some kind of new superpower I’m oblivious to because I don’t watch TV (more on that later), for you. You have not walked one second in someone else’s reality. How can you possibly have an opinion about it? Right. You can’t. We like to think we can, but we can’t.
When we stop forming opinions about other people and their situations we start doing something incredible. We start understanding each other. We start feeling things for people as a whole. We open up our lives to love and happiness because we are freeing ourselves from the belief that we are less or more than other people. We are creating a sense of unity and respecting each other’s journey through this lifetime. One more example on why opinions suck and then I’m through, I promise.
The other day I was working out at the gym. The gym I go to is super fancy and there are a lot of really beautiful, in shape people there. I was doing some weird squat thing the trainer told me to do and I felt eyes watching me. I felt judgement. So I looked around and what I felt was true – it wasn’t just me being egocentric and imagining everyone was watching me. There were people watching me. And they weren’t watching me because I have a nice ass. (It’s MY opinion that I do, though.) They were watching me because I was struggling. Because I am overweight and what in the hell am I doing in the middle of this gym making a fool out of myself for. What they see: She’s overweight, shes lazy, she eats too much, etc. What they don’t know: I’ve already lost 70 lbs. I probably work out more and harder than they do. I am actually pretty strict about the foods I allow in my body. That’s not a story that can be told from my physical appearance. Why judge someone else’s story?
What I am asking is, before forming an opinion – are you in a place of complete understanding? Have you experienced life through the eyes of another? If the answer is no, I hate to break it to you, but your opinion doesn’t matter. We are not here on this great spinning planet to change someone else’s reality. We are here to provide support and love in order to make it though this reality with the least amount of scars.
Everyone has battles to fight. Everyone has deep-rooted emotional experiences that have shaped and molded their perspective on reality. Not one single perspective is more valuable than another. Be kind to each other. Put your hearts and your minds in a place of understanding and watch what happens. I promise you will start noticing the beauty in our differences.
This, of course, is all my opinion.